Peace in Practice

Some people may think that it is all very well cultivating inner peace through a practice of meditation, but what happens when we come face to face with all the challenges of everyday living?

This page is intended to pool some practical suggestions to help bring about peace not just within ourselves, but in our relations with partners, family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and the wider world. Please rest assured that these are only suggestions. As ever, please feel free to accept or reject them, to add to or subtract from them. Each of us has a unique set of experiences and way of doing things. The text below has been written by Steve Gardiner, who is currently responsible for managing this website. You are welcome to give him feedback, and to share any practical measures which work for you, by going to the Contact Us button and sending an email.  

Peace in my Heart: What if we can't find it?
Many people find one or more forms of meditation a great help in finding inner peace. (To find out more, please go to the Learn Meditation page.) However, there may come times when we find it almost impossible to meditate. For instance, we may find we are experiencing persistently negative feelings from a current situation, or a past event, or something which may be about to happen. Try as we might, we either cannot change the situation, or our feelings about it, or both. The negative feelings may be growing to a point where we can no longer enjoy life; in other words we may be finding it impossible to be at peace with ourselves. What can we do about this?

In a situation such as this we are faced with two basic options: to seek help, or to carry on trying to work through the situation ourselves. No one but ourselves can make this choice. To make the decision (which of course we can reverse at any time) we may find it helpful to think about how we can approach the situation, and whether or not we possess the necessary tools to deal with it ourselves. However, we may feel so confused that we feel unable to make this judgement. If this is the case, it may be better to seek help.

What kind of help is there? It is impossible to give a definitive answer to this question, as there seems to be an ever-mushrooming array of therapies and self-help approaches. Some people swear by counselling or psychotherapy. Others prefer a particular therapy, such as Bach Flower Remedies, or Emotional Freedom Technique. What might suit one person may not work for another. Many people prefer to find a practitioner who is professionally trained, and who possess the necessary client skills. Anyone who does not listen carefully to your needs, who pursues their own agenda, or who continually dispenses advice are best avoided. No matter how well-meaning they are, they can create much more damage than good.

It is important to remember that each one of us is responsible for our own actions, thoughts and feelings. I have observed many people who either expect the therapist to walk their journey for them, or to provide a magical cure. When neither of these happen, they turn to another therapist, then another, ending up embittered, or lost in a deeper state of depression and inner turmoil. The therapist is essentially a guide and encourager; using her or his skill and experience to help the client find a way through a particular situation or crisis, and to provide the client with strategies to cope with situations which may arise in the future.

It can take a certain amount of courage, and a shift in attitude, to make the decision to seek help. Some people don't make the step, because they see it as some kind of personal failure to ask someone else for support. In some parts of our society, there seems to be a certain stigma attached to counselling or therapy. This is very unfortunate, because buying into this belief can seriously undermine our personal development and cultivation of inner peace. Many people, including myself, have found that consulting a therapist has produced  rich, lasting and often unexpected benefits.  

[The next section will be added over the coming weeks]